11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
