at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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