He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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