hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
