Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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