At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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