Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
True but thats because hes a fetus.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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