I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
