I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
and you fell through a lawn chair
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
