you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
