just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
