"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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