my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
