Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
