i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
