woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
