can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
