So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
