I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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