i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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