is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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