the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
