if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
