Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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