Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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