what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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