I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
