So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
