The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
