Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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