I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
