he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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