Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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