does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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