Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
