Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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