Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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