If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
