Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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