I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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