Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
even my farts smell like vagina
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
