you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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