I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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