I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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