Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
