Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
