It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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