Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
