i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We need to feng shui this bitch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
