Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
