Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
