Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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