Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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