Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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